Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My cat gives me a boner
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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