so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
