My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
