...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
