According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my poor anus
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
