Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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