Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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