just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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