I think i sorta joined a cult last night
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
