Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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