I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
