just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I didn't notice because vodka
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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