that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
