what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
