"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize