you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
