Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
