Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
