She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
