i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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