thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
