I need help removing her.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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