Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
