it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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