It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
