Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Barsexuality is the new black.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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