ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
