It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
