i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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