i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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