whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize