I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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