She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
