If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
