i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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