it's too hot outside to masturbate.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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