I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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