i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
