Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
