I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
