why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Everything about him screamed your future.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize