I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Randomize
