how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
