He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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