i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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