i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
