I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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