Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
