And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
