Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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