Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
