I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
