She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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