i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
