question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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