No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's never too late to be topless.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
