Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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