I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
