Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
