i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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