oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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