He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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