pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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