Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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