We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
