3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
