So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Quick, to the slutcave!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
